By: Abdul Waheed Noori~

What is love? Love is truly a mystery. Physical beauty is not the sole criteria. Ask a lover about why he/she loves her beloved and you will never get a logical answer. They can never tell you what is the reason behind their love.

Love does not measure qualities, nor sets any standards. In love, you should not think about whether you are on the giving end or the taking end. Giving always gives more pleasure in love than anything else. Loving allows us to put the needs and desires of our lover before our own needs and desires.

If you love someone then you should know that t is about understanding, caring, forgiving, forgetting. giving, doing and sacrificing.  Also it is not just about wanting them; it’s about wanting them to be happy. It’s not about wanting to possess or control them; it’s about wanting to save them from bad stuff to happen.

Love is also forgiving and understanding of the fact that we are all humans and we do make mistakes. There are many imperfections in a loving relationship, but the difference is that those imperfections are understood, accepted, and forgiven when they cause hurt. This is a true sign of true love and forgiveness is one of the deepest forms of love that can be expressed.

Loving someone is not as easy as we think. We have to forget ourselves for loving someone. We have to dedicate ourselves to them. We have to be ready to be with them in every thick and thin. We give them unconditional care. We try to give them whatever they want without any selfish motive. If there is any need we are ready to sacrifice for them, even our love.

Everybody has the right to love but one or two out of ten are able to do love. Most of the people by mistake think their infatuation is their love. Infatuation may be because of physical attraction, same thinking pattern or same aim. But infatuation does not go for long. As soon as we find a better person we again fall in infatuation.

I would like to end this article by mentioning the following quote, “We rarely fall in love but we often fall in infatuation.”

By: Abdul Waheed Noori~

Most of the people think that it is not possible to love someone with whom you met on internet. They give many arguments. In some ways they are right, but sometimes their arguments fail and yes some people find true love on internet. It may start from chatting someone, or someone who is in your social community list, etc.

There are many reasons why people are looking for love online. For a start, people hooking into the romantic cyber-world are generally open to a relationship, and not looking for some quick thrills. They’re usually serious about their quest for love.
Chatting on the web can fast-track a relationship. It can strip away the superficiality of appearance and reveal the real person.

I know that many people consider that online dating is a waste of time. But I personally know some couples that got acquainted on the Internet and nevertheless they are happy and they really love each other. That’s why I think that people shouldn’t be afraid of online dating.

I know a guy who fell in love with a girl just chatting with her for few days. His love start getting deeper and deeper. The  girl also had feelings for him and they started relationship. Although it is hard for them for some reasons but they are caring, understanding and loving each other!

Every kind of way to find your partner have it’s advantages and disadvantages. Online dating is quick but it is also true that sometimes dangerous if you got the wrong person. But before the internet, there was phone pal or pen pal whom you really don’t know or see the person but many time it works. So yeah internet dating works.

The Sunday Times proved the point saying that “email relationships can be far more intimate than normal dating.”
Online dating has been one of the biggest success stories of the world wide web. And the reason why is pretty simple: it works. People do find love online – in ever increasing numbers.
If someday you find someone loves you and you also feels for them, I would like to say, it’s your feelings that really matter. So don’t be afraid and try it; Don’t miss the opportunity!

Falling in love is wonderful, it’s exciting and truly the adventure of a lifetime. I believe in Love at First Sight and I believe in people being “meant for each other”. I also believe that learning to love and be loved is a life long learning experience. That is what this article is about.

There are different ways of looking at love. If you feel love in your heart for your partner, you might consider yourself “In Love” with them. That is a wonderful thing, and obviously where it all starts. Staying in love means you need to “do love”, not just feel it. It means you take time to communicate, compromise, and deeply relate to each other.

The challenge is to discover how to “Do Love” in a way that benefits your own love partnership. I believe the first step is to take very good care of you. Offering your partner your best self is a most excellent gift. Attend to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs to the best of your ability. Pursue activities that help you develop the best self to offer to your partner. You want to make sure you are as healthy as you can be to fully accept the love your partner is showering back on you too.

You will also want to take a close look at the preconceived ideas you have about love and your relationship with that special person. As you are growing up, you form beliefs about what roles people “should” play in your life. For example, a man might just take it for granted that the women he falls in love with will always cook his dinner and do the laundry. A woman might think the man should be the one that knows how to fix the car or other home maintenance issues.

Be very honest with yourself in making your list of expectations. After you have your list throw it away. The minute you start putting your preconceived expectations on another person, you are in for trouble. Take the time to communicate and compromise with your partner when it comes to domestic responsibilities. Find solutions that work best for both of you.

Now, go on an exploration of what both you and your partner need to feel loved. People experience love in different ways. Perhaps you need to hear love and can ask your partner to tell you often how much they love you and enjoy being with you. Other’s need to feel love. They feel loved when their partner takes the time to be affectionate, kiss them hello and good-bye and freely give hugs and hand holding.

In order to “Do Love”, you want to know what sort of activities to pursue that will help your partner stay reassured of your love for them, in ways they best experience love. You also want to be able to communicate to them how you experience love so they can do the same for you.

Another one of the absolute best things you can do for the love of your life is to stay aware. This is probably the most important and least talked about area of relationships. Your immediate presence is by far the best present you can give to those you care about! Look at them as if they are brand new in your life every day. People change and grow and you want to be in relationship with the person you love today, not the image you have in your head about them. This also helps maintain appreciation for the person sharing their life with you.

Doing Love is something you recommit to every day. It’s an excellent adventure and will help assure that the love you feel for each other stays exciting and fresh for years to come! If you would like more specific suggestions for your unique love life, or want to learn more about the topics discussed in this article, please feel free to email me at anytime.

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Love is usually misunderstood. People think that it is an emotion or something you feel. It does bring on emotions but it’s not something you necessarily feel. In marriage relationships sometimes the feelings people normally associate with love have faded for a time.

Love is a decision to act and to treat someone a certain way. It is more about what you do than what you feel. It is about the commitment you made to the one you chose to marry. It is a promise. That is why you promised to love. You didn’t promise to feel a certain way. The promise was made for better or for worse.

Yes love is necessary in the marriage relationship because feelings come and go. Sometimes anger may arise, or you may get hurt by the one you love. This is not the time to give up your love. This is the time when you need love the most.

Your decision to love leads you to forgive, repair, encourage, build, cherish and make better your marriage relationship. That is not to say it will be easy. Sometime those good feeling will be there for you and sometimes they wont. But your constant commitment to love as you promised will ensure that those feeling show up more frequently.

Love Must Be A Commitment

Many marriages have ended because a spouse would be drawn to someone outside the relationship. This is brought on by feelings and lust. These feelings can change and often do. It takes wisdom not to follow every feeling or desire that comes our way.

Comparing your spouse or mate to other is wrong. It takes your focus off of you as a couple and focuses on the individual and their problems as you see them. Once this happens it is easy to get caught up into a relationship outside the marriage. You begin to justify your behavior by what you don’t have, or can’t get at home. It becomes easier to forget your commitment to marriage, love, and your spouse.

Always remember love. Remember the commitment to your spouse in the face of difficult times. It is your decision to love that will get you through. When both people remember their commitment of love and follow through the marriage is safe. Without this agreement the marriage is powerless to survive the difficulties that it will inevitably face.

Remember love is not a feeling but a decision to do and to act a certain way with the person you have committed to in marriage.

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Loyalty or fidelity means devoted commitment that cannot be broken easily. To be loyal, means to adhere to all the promises made for the lifetime. To keep all the commitments made, forever. Loyalty is rather a very easy word but a very laudable quality that is difficult to keep for a lot many people.

Loyalty does not consider change in circumstances. If I am loyal to my partner and my partner meets with an accident that disfigures him/her badly, does not mean that I go away to somebody better looking. If I commit to someone about my relationship and that person goes broke after sometime, does not mean that I will look for richer persons. Every situation that comes tests loyalty. In some countries the law allows you to break your marriage owes if your partner goes lunatic. But many loyal people don’t break the relationship even at that time.

Every relationship rests on trust and truth. If the relationship began with lies, it can never sustain. The foundation is of lies. How truth can grow from the seed of lie? The first need or requirement of going in a long-term relationship is to be truthful in all respects. Fooling others into believing untruths is a sin.

Once you have decided to and committed loyalty, you should never break it under any circumstances. There can be no excuse for that. By doing any such act, we hurt the other partner who believed in us, and we hurt ourselves by becoming an unfaithful and unreliable person. We lose our self-esteem totally after that. Once that happens, the path is only downhill, all the way to hell. Love and loyalty go together.How can we be disloyal in love? That is an impossible thought.

To love and to be loved is a blessing. To break that by being disloyal is sinning against goodness and God. If by any chance one does an act of disloyalty, one must immediately confess and ask for forgiveness. Will the relationship ever remain same after this act of disloyalty? No. Unless one is lucky to have an extra ordinary partner, the relationship will never remain the same. Better to be a loyal and truthful person always.

I have observed that love, like gold, has gradients of quality. I met and married my wife Kim nearly twenty years ago. For our wedding, I bought Kim a gold wedding ring. Since we paid for our own wedding, the purchase of her ring left us with just enough money to choose a sterling silver ring for myself.

Some time ago, I misplaced the sterling silver ring. As I dwelled upon the loss and significance of that ring, the thought entered my mind that my love and commitment to Kim had actually deepened over the years since our wedding. Sterling silver was an appropriate symbol for the early years of our marriage; for although I loved my wife, my commitment to her in the early years was more from a sense of duty and obligation than from unselfish delight.

However, I soon came to the conclusion that the quality of my love for my wife was no longer adequately represented by a sterling silver ring. Perhaps it was the incredible experience of raising our first son Nate together; or, perhaps it was my, albeit delayed, recognition that my wife loves me as I am – ‘warts’ and all as she says. Whatever the reasons, my love for Kim had indeed attained a refined quality and it seemed appropriate to me that a symbol of our love and commitment, a wedding ring, should accurately reflect this maturing love.

I therefore replaced the sterling silver ring with 10K gold. My first gold wedding ring represented a love that was in fact golden, yet, similar to the inferior characteristics of 10K gold, was not of unmitigated quality.

Several more anniversaries have since come and gone. Somehow I have managed to misplace the 10K gold ring. This second loss provided another opportunity for reflection. I decided as a result of years of experiencing hard times, lean times and good times with Kim, to replace the second lost ring with the higher quality 14K gold ring that I’m currently wearing.
The 14K gold ring is unmistakably of a higher quality and substantial than the first two. It is an appropriate symbol of a love that has been tested by my bouts of depression, the adoption of our youngest son after the loss of his birth parents, and the trials associated with the premature loss of Kim’s mother and sister.

As mentioned, my wife and I will soon celebrate our twentieth wedding anniversary. I expect that in the not to distant future, I will somehow manage to misplace the 14K gold ring. If our resources permit, it will be replaced with an 18K gold ring.

I have come to understand that similar to gold, the quality and intrinsic value of love varies. As Kim and I continue to grow old together, my propensity to misplace things will likely intensify. Perhaps, sometime around our fiftieth anniversary, should we be so blessed as to experience this milestone, I will select a 24K pure gold wedding ring. A symbol of any lesser quality will certainly not suffice.

Are you waiting for the love of your life to find you? Are you tired of just waiting…and waiting…to be found and to start dating? Does it seem like love is a waiting game and you are losing? How long can you wait?

Recently, I read an email joke that went:

“Women are like apples on a tree. The best ones are at the top and most men don’t want to work that hard to get to them. They don’t want to climb that high and risk falling off and getting hurt. Most men are willing to settle for the rotten apples lying on the ground. Those apples aren’t as good, but they’re easy…”

This note was a tongue-in-cheek twist on an old perspective, which is, that women are waiting for men to find them and pick them. It represents a persistent dating consciousness that keeps people from having what they want.

If you are waiting to be discovered and appreciated—or waiting to be plucked from a tree—you will either be waiting a long time, or feel disappointed in the quality of the apple picker. Because when men and women get together, they need to mutually pick each other in order for both of them to be happy.

This story also makes the assumption that men are supposed to do the work to find a woman. Obviously, if men and women want to wind up with the person they want, they both have to do the work.

If you want to be with the love of your life,

*You have to BECOME the person you are looking for, and

*You have to get out of the tree, get some legs under you, and take the actions necessary to find the person you want.

Here are some things you can do to find the person you want to be with:

1. Take great care of yourself.

All apples need to be polished to look their best. Do you exercise every day? Do you pay attention to what you eat? Fast food, meals on the run, late night snacking, and skipping breakfast are all ways we add unnecessary stress and pounds. It’s hard to feel attractive when you haven’t given yourself the nutrition and attention you need to feel confident.

2. Get out of the house and connect with others.

Most people have to make plans or getting out of the house just won’t happen. Take out your calendar and check the paper, the social events where you work or worship, and talk to your friends and family to see if and when they want to go out with you. You need to get out several times a week—not just once in a while.

3. Tell people you want to meet someone.

This is an overlooked resource. You have to ASK people. Most of them won’t know anyone, but sooner or later, someone will meet a person and remember your request. Furthermore, check back with them a few weeks after you ask them and see if they have thought of anyone. People get busy with their lives and have to be reminded.

4. Develop your computer skills.

Recent research has shown that people with good computer skills are more successful and more likely to meet someone online. If you do not have strong technology skills, I suggest you take a course and become computer literate. Many people connect through the internet.

After all the talk about comparing women to apples, I looked to find what metaphor was used for men. It said men were compared to grapes. It said women had to pick them, stomp them, and turn them into wine so they were worth having dinner with.

I’m not sure I like being compared to a fruit. This picture of hanging on a tree or a vine doesn’t offer a lot of choices. Whether we are an apple or a grape, it makes it sound like we are all just waiting…and waiting… to be plucked.

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True love is the rarest of things in my experience, it’s because few people can navigate the dating scene successfully enough to find it.

The truth of the matter is that most people settle, it’s that simple.

It’s a basic law of human nature for people to seek the path of least resistance, translated it means that most people will take the first person that basically meets their standards.

That’s the reason why the majority are with someone by default, “he” or “she” was better than a lot of the other people the person in question may have dated, so, they will settle on that person.

Now what happens when the right person comes along? They will see that you are with someone and move along, it happens all the time.

Let me ask you a question. How many times have you met someone outside of your relationship, say, a social gathering, through a friend, wherever, and were really attracted to them?

They seemed so right, but you were in a relationship.

Many people will know exactly what I am talking about. I’ve had it happen to me and talked to many other people that related to that question.

God, nature, designs men and women to be together, we have a kind of beacon in our DNA that makes us want to be in a relationship, to procreate.

There is a lot more to a relationship than procreating though so we need to put a lot more thought into finding that “Special Someone”.

Most people don’t put a lot of thought into the process though, they simply react, that signal in their DNA is what is in control, not their intellect.

A large majority of people are just plain needy too. They are the worst off in the long run. They spend a lot of their life in and out of relationships just because they are scared to be alone, and unless they deal with their core, self esteem issues they will always follow the same pattern.

Then there are the people who are attracted to a certain “type”, usually negative in nature, bad boys, or bad girls. These are the people that are always whining about their boyfriend being a jerk, or for guys, being totally obsessed with their girlfriend, her whereabouts, who she talks to, stalking her.

Once again, if these people don’t deal with their core self esteem issues they have little if any chance of finding true love.

True love has a price, a price most people are not willing to pay, therefore, they will never have it. It does exist, there are numerous examples from history, true love stories, it’s out there, it’s real, but it costs.

Each person sets their own standard, only those with the highest standards when it comes to finding the right partner will find them.

I’m not talking about being picky or concieted, I’m talking about being honest with oneself. If the person you are currently with does not meet your needs today, they will never meet your needs.

People don’t change who and what they are to suit each other, so don’t sell yourself short, find the right person. It will take some time and selection, some navigating. Be honest with yourself in regards to that person, are they really everything you always wanted? If not, they won’t be later on either.

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If you’re in a relationship where everyday is like Valentine’s
Day then you’ve pretty much mastered the art of love.
However, if you’re like most people in a relationship, you
might think that men are from Mars and women are from
Venus. Well, just in case the latter is true, I’ll share a
separate heart-to-heart with each of you in the spirit of
Valentine’s Day.

Earth to Men from Mars:

Men are great at many things: lifting boxes, killing spiders,
loosening jars. Valentine’s day is your chance to really play
up your romantic side, (you know you have one). If you love
someone, there’s nothing more manly than letting her know
it. And if you really want to put hair on your chest: show her
that you love her.

In even the healthiest relationship, you and she will have
different interests. She loves Formula One racing. You love
daisies. This is all a great thing because if you show off a
little of your feminine side, chances are you will certainly
score–points, that is. She asks you–all the time–to tell
her why you fell in love with her, right? Then she actually
expects you to come out with a brilliant answer on the spot.
Goodness, I feel for you–even Shakespeare couldn’t give
you a sonnet in demand. But don’t worry, this Valentine’s
Day, you’re going to come up with some eloquent gesture of
love that will make her want to leave Venus to come live with
you on Mars. You’re probably saying to yourself, How am I
going to do that? Well, allow me to warm you up to some
outside-the-box ideas.

Look through the photos you’ve gathered throughout your
time together. Find some that speak to you. Don’t worry
about what they say just yet. This is the manly,
hunting-and-gathering part of the gesture. Once you’ve
found the photos you like, put them in the album in no
particular order. Now look at each photo and ask yourself:
How does this picture remind me of why I love her? For
example, if you chose a photo of her making a silly face, it’s
probably because you love the way she makes you laugh.
So write the answer on a Post-it and stick the note on the
photo. Do this for all the photos. In no time at all, you will
create a lasting testament to your love for her. If by chance
she’s a tough cookie to crumble, then plant some daisies
(or her favorite flowers) so they spell out the words “I love
you.” This is a romantic gesture that will last an entire
season and return every year–if you have a green thumb. It
will surprise her as the words start to appear, and it will
surprise you if it actually works.

And yes, in case you’re wondering: it’s ok to make her think
you made up your romantic gestures even if you got the
ideas from an article.

Earth to Women from Venus:

Diamonds aren’t always a girl’s best friend. You’re probably
saying to yourself, What are you talking about? Diamonds
bring a twinkle to your eye, when your significant other
cannot. However, diamonds can’t give you backrubs, kill
spiders, or open jars. It is truly rewarding to be with your
significant other when you both click, are on the same page,
on the same level intellectually, and can make each other
laugh. That’s when he’s your best friend and diamonds
don’t compare. Diamonds are said to be forever, but when
both of you are using your minds, hearts, and uniqueness to
have a romantic future together, that’s what really lasts. So
this Valentine’s Day, you’re going to come up with some
cute and sexy performance of love that will make him want
to leave Mars to come live with you in Venus. You probably
already have some outside-the-box ideas of your own, (you
go girl!). However, if you’re stuck for ideas, please allow me
to warm you up to a few of mine.

Get home well before he does if it’s a workday. Gather all
your lingerie and use them to shape hearts trailing from the
front door, into the bedroom and onto the bed. Leave a note
on the bed that says “Pizza is on its way and cold beer is in
the fridge.” Make sure the pizza is delivered before he gets
home because you’ll need to put on some sexy lingerie and
actually deliver the pizza yourself. Time it so you wait
outside the house and leave him to discover the trail of
lingerie and the note when he returns. He’ll be
disappointed not to find you at home, but that’s when you
ring the doorbell with the pizza in hand, sexy lingerie and all.
You get the idea. Have fun, use your imagination and make
this work however you prefer.

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Do you want to fall in love and feel intense chemistry for someone? Do you want passion in your relationship, with sparks flying when you look in each other’s eyes? Most of us look for someone we can feel this way about.

However, many people find that when the romance wears off, they don’t even like the person they chose and the chemistry has evaporated.

It is important to feel that chemical connection with someone, but beyond chemistry, there are multiple ways that couples experience attraction. For some people, the heady aura of romantic love comes after they have connected spiritually and intellectually. Below are some of the other qualities that attract people to one another:

Intellect
Two people having equal intelligence is a good indicator that there may be a strong foundation for a relationship, if other factors are in place (spiritual, chemistry, values.) This is why internet dating sites have become legitimate avenues for singles to meet. People get to know each other by exchanging thoughts first. When both people are willing to be challenged intellectually, and learn and grow from their communication, it is likely they will never grow tired of each other’s company.

Security
Some people need safety of some kind, whether emotional or material. The greatest problem in being drawn to someone for security is that the temperature of the relationship can rise and fall depending on the economic climate (which may depend on the economic fluctuations in the country). And often, when someone seeks an emotional cushion, the person they have found is actually the one who needs the most support, and has little to give in return. True security comes when both people know who they are; what they want; and are both capable of taking full responsibility for themselves.

Shared Interests
We all look for someone who likes to do some of the things we like to do. It doesn’t have to be everything, but if each party has enough in common that they can enjoy together, their bond will deepen. They may like hiking, camping, travel, dancing, or cheering for the same football team.

Values
A relationship cannot last if both people don’t share the same values. If one person feels they must deny any of their core values for the relationship to survive, resentment will erode whatever foundation the relationship was built on.

Attitude
Many people bond around a shared perspective on the world. The most resilient bonds are those that are able to view life together with humor. Any problems that come their way are approached with wit, grace, and the ability to see the ridiculous, without wailing about life’s injustices.

Spirituality
Finding a common spiritual ground is a strong bond between people. They will approach life in a similar manner and make decisions each understands, such as how to celebrate the holidays, raise the children, and interact and treat each other consistent with their beliefs.

Creativity
Creative people are able to flex, adapt, and make the changes necessary to move forward. If they have a job or career that becomes obsolete, they go back to school or start a business in a field that is current. If both people in a relationship know how to access their creativity, they will work well together, solving life’s problems in a fluid manner.

The challenge for couples is to get beyond the chemistry before the relationship becomes committed and they discover they don’t know each other.

Chemistry is a good thing when it is taken into consideration with the above qualities. But without most of the above, those sparks can turn into cold charcoal.

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